Thursday, August 18, 2011
Feeling Odd Suddenly?
For the past two days I have suddenly been feeling like I need to move my family and I dont know where we need to go. Not only have i been feeling like we need to move I feel lost and somewhat hopeless. The feeling has been taking over a lot and I just have a breakdown and cry and cant seem to find any thought that makes it better when this occurs. It seems to me that the ending of a book I was reading for the second time was what triggered it. I felt a strange connection with this book. Also it was like the character was just like me as far as looks, personality and feelings after life experiences went... I feel very sad that the book ended and i just suddenly feel so dissapointed with my life. I have a wonderful fiance and we have a 1 year old baby girl. Our relationships are just wonderful. Of course life has normal stress but i feel like something is so terribly wrong now, like we aren't where we are supposed to be, I feel guilty that i cant give my family as much as I'd want to, lots of stuff... Normal... But whenthis sad strange feeling takes over everything seems like its tenfold and i cant seem to grasp my head on any of the many, many ideas i get to make things better. Nothing i can think of seems right. I am also drawn to the setting of this book I read. So much is going on, I feel so sad, lost and confused. I dont know what to do. I would describe the feeling mainly as a combination of hopeless and i guess like this town i live in and the area now... maybe even though whole state, seems like a tiny box just crushing me... I hate looking out my window and seeing fields of dead gr and dead trees in the distance. I feel like my family shoudl be surrounded by pine trees... I odnt know what to do or where to go. Pardon the spelling errors I'm about to go cook dinner real quick. Thank you for any input. I'll be back to see what you can come up with soon. Please be kind. I cant handle negativity right now or I may be on the verge of a breakdown.
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